Monday, July 18, 2011

T-Bell Complaint Letter

If you agree with the following then let your voice be heard.
Together we can make a difference.


To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing today as a faithful, long-time customer who has stuck with your brand through thick and thin, from scattered rat feces findings to widespread E. coli claims, from slight tummy aches to… well, you get the idea. For more than 20 years I have been loyal to your brand and proud to call your stores my preferred venue for fast-food consumption. However, recent menu changes have caused me to question my loyalties. Allow me to elaborate:

As true fans and master feasters, my friends and I have often marveled at Taco Bell’s new and incredible limited-time-only menu additions; and as these ephemeral items vanish we’ll become very disappointed (i.e. the Shrimp Taco), only to become equally delighted by the seemingly permanent addition of another exciting innovation (i.e. the Crispy Potato Soft Taco). To my tastes, the aforementioned tacos exemplify the sheer genius that is the mix-and-match process behind your brand’s culinary creativity: familiar ingredients used differently – always simple yet simply delicious.

Though I’ve made many a repeat order at your company’s fine establishments, I remain open to change and so I approach every new dish with an open mind and a clear palate. That being said, my absolute favorite Taco Bell creation has always been the Grilled Stuft Burrito with Chicken, so it was with great distress and disappointment that I took the news that this item was to be replaced by the decadent XXL Grilled Stuft Burrito. Unfortunately, my dissatisfaction was multiplied a hundred times over when I actually tasted this dreadful replacement. The problem lies not in the size (this is America – the bigger the better); the problem lies in the replacement of the traditional Grilled Stuft Burrito sauce with a combination of sour cream and guacamole. This would-be blending of the Grilled Stuffed Burrito with the 7-Layer Burrito seems like a sound idea on the surface but the quality of the sum, I’m sad to say, is lesser than that of its parts; much, much lesser.

I recognize that mine is only one opinion, however, it is one I have heard echoed on numerous occasions. The word is out: the XXL experiment is a failure. You should know that my patronage has decreased significantly since the disappearance of the original, true Grilled Stuft Burrito. And if this item does not return promptly, I might not either. Again, I realize I am only one customer, but consider that there was a time when I ate your food as often as every other day and I suspect you will begin to understand the gravity of my departure.

I leave you for now with this suggestion:
Forget the cream, forget the guac. Bring back the sauce.

Most Sincerely,
Samuel Diamond

Sunday, July 10, 2011